Stop and smell the roses...

It's my birthday!


gif

Today is April 12, 2021 and I have so much to be thankful for. But before we get into that, let's talk a little bit about where I've been...


I've been doing a lot of soul searching these past few months. Trying hard to figure out why I am the way that I am and who it is I really want to be. I tried therapy for a little while and I feel like it worked but I just don't think my actual therapist was for me. It definitely helped me to open up those door I thought I had closed and really unpack and get to the root of my issues and fears. During that time I also decided to reevaluate the relationships I'd held space for in my life. I went through each one and decided if it was healthy enough to stay in my life. If it was bringing me joy or stress and pain. If I felt like it was a one sided relationship and I was the one always putting in the effort, I just cut them off. No conversation or warning and just kept it pushing. I just felt like I wasn't in the head space to be continuing relationships with people that weren't interested in having any kind of relationship with me. And when I say relationship I'm not talking romance...


Another goal of mine for the past dew months has been to move. I wanted to leave Maryland and be back in a space that was completely controlled by me. I was feeling very anxious every day and just felt like I couldn't breathe some days. I just knew that I needed to start fresh in a new environment. I was having a hard time deciding between somewhere new or going back to where I was comfortable. Ultimately, I ended up moving back to Atlanta (3 days ago actually lol). I really wanted to move by my birthday and it all came together so quick that I almost didn't believe it was actually happening but it did and I couldn't be happier! I love the apartment and the area and I'm just so happy to be back. With me moving I was definitely worried about potentially having to find a new job and everyone told me not to talk to my boss about it until I had something as backup but I just got to a point mentally where I couldn't hold it in any longer. We had a meeting and I told her my plans and it wasn't a problem. They were approved that day and then I began to start my search for a place without having this dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over me.


I've been working out more and eating better. Before some would know me as a garbage disposal but I've definitely learned the older you are, the harder it is for you to lose weight. I was blessed with an athletic frame so my body snaps back faster than normal but boy oh boy... your body will definitely let you see all the snacks you've been eating. I'm also working a lot on my mental. Meditating and journaling more. Just trying to keep my head clear and stay focused on things I'm trying to accomplish.


Overall, I've just been trying to become the best version of myself but I made sure not to limit my experiences or put my live on hold in the process. We always hear about people waiting until they've become the best version of themselves to start living but I decided to start living now. I'm not waiting until I become perfect because I know that'll never happen. The first step of living a happy life is actually living. You have to be willing to still be present and create those memories while you're working on yourself. Self work doesn't stop. You don't ever reach the finish line with yourself. You are constantly learning and growing so there is no point in putting your life on hold. You can live and learn at the same time...


That's what I've been up to. I'm working on updating regularly again and making sure I stay true to the core values of this site. Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to subscribe to be notified of new posts (and videos as soon as I'm done editing).


Also, remember to thank yourself for how far you've come, it hasn't been easy.


gif