I was on a date this past week and we were talking about how we know which people we want to be involved with and which ones wont make the cut. It took us a second but we were able to come up with this dating scale or scenario to help me put into words how I decide which men will work for me.
So, we looked at it like a draft. We have First Round, Free Agents and the ones that don't get drafted. After thinking about it, I decided to add in Regular Picks (because everyone won't go in the first round and everyone isn't a free agent. There needed to be another tier there).
First Round: This is the total package. He has the looks and the conversation down. He seemingly has his life together and you will happily accept his as-is. No changes or upgrades necessary.
Regular Picks: These are the guys that take a few dates to warm up to. These are the ones that might have good looks or good conversation but not both. The ones that need to grow on you a little before you can make any firm decisions.
Free Agents: These are the guys that you aren't really too sure about. For me, they're the ones that I deal with when I think I want to be with someone but then I get around them and realize that the initial thought was a mistake.
Undrafted: This is the friend-zone. These are the guys that just didn't make the cut. You love talking to them or hanging out with them but you just don't want to be involved with them romantically. I didn't realize how hard it was to explain to someone that you weren't interested in them until we started talking about this model.
**Cut: These are the guys that might've been First Round or Regular or even free agents that just didn't do what we needed them to do which resulted in them being cut all together.
I have only ever met one person in my life that I considered a first round. And honestly he wasn't first round material, I just wanted him to be. He was more of a free agent. I've had a lot of regular picks that have been cut due to things just going left so fast.
The reason I hate dating so much is because everyone lies in the beginning. Everyone is trying to put on their best and wants to make it seem like they have it all together so we'll attract the person that we really want but over time, our true selves begin to show and things don't really turn out the way we'd hoped but if we are all just honest in the beginning, we might actually find the person that's right for us.
I'm going to rate a few of the most recent people that I've dealt with in some capacity to give you an idea of the scale. (I won't use any real names, just describe them and give a little explanation).
1) Beezus : He was someone that I desperately wanted to be a first round but ended up being a free agent. Virgo, terrible communicator but so so nice to look at. So nice that I completely ignored the other things. 3/5
2) Pumpkin: He was supposed to go undrafted but because of how vulnerable I was at the time, I allowed it to lead to something else. Relationship was on for too long but there were lies and other women. Needless to say, he got cut. 1/5
3) Smiley: Just beautiful. Another one that I wanted to be a first round but didn't work out. Some other things resulted in him being cut but it was definitely fun while it lasted. 2/5
4) Iron Giant: Wanted him to be first round off his height alone, but I kept him at a regular pick. He was cool to talk to but after that first actual date, I wasn't feeling it. CUT. 2/5
5) Hennessy: This one is a regular pick only because I haven't really spent any time with him outside of alcohol. Another person that is on the path to being cut. Only because I only talk to them when it's me reaching out and no real effort has been made to change that so, yeah. I guess you could say cut. The short time we did spend together was great though. And he's super supportive and encouraging. Definitely 4/5 on my scale.
I hope you're all noticing a pattern here, there aren't any First Round's here. There aren't any that are the total package to me. And this is just my personal opinion. This isn't me saying that I'm this 10/10 that only wants 10's this is just an easy way for me to put into perspective how I deal with men. There are more that I could ad to the list but they are mostly undrafted. You go undrafted by not having any type of spark or by doing/ saying something stupid. And just because someone is undrafted/ cut by me doesn't mean they will be by the next person.